So, I haven’t posted a lot lately. Partly because I’ve been busy and partly because pretty much everything I wanted to post was a negative reaction to negative incidents going on in this country and I just didn’t want to go there constantly with this blog. Sometimes is fine, all the time, not so much. I’ve been having a hard time being optimistic and did not want to go all curmudgeon, all the time. Then came the weekend of the 4th of July. I took a couple of extra days off from work and spent the long holiday weekend with my family. On the day of the 4th we went to a place for lunch here in Dallas, off of lower Greenville, called the Truckyard. It is an outdoor seating area with a bar on one side and several food trucks to choose from on the other. We had lunch and a couple of drinks sitting outside in the shade enjoying a warm but beautiful day. Next we made our way to Northpark Mall to watch dinosaurs snack on unlucky humans in Jurassic World. It’s amazing how a couple of mojitos make that more funny than scary, lol. It was the perfect way to beat the heat of a Texas afternoon in July. After the movie we jumped on DART and went down to Fair Park to watch the fireworks in the Cotton Bowl. We got there well before dark and had a chance to sit and do a bit of people watching. It was fun and as the crowd got larger as it started getting dark the “wave” made it’s way around the stadium a few times. The fireworks were good although they played some really cheesy music with them. Someone seriously needs to work on that. One of the issues with riding DART to an event like that is that while it may be a bit crowded going, it’s not too bad because people arrive at varying times, but everyone leaves at the same time. So there was a huge crowd waiting for the DART trains. And here finally, I come to the point of this post. The first is that it was a very mixed crowd of people. There were lots of white people, lots of black people and lots of hispanic people. All enjoying a community event together with no issues whatsoever. Brings a bit of perspective. Because even though there is institutional and systemic racism rampant in this country, when it comes right down to it, most people are happy to live and let live and that is encouraging for the prospect of changing the course of things in this country. But this is what really struck me. I was standing a bit behind the others in my group and was looking around people watching again while waiting for the train. And I’m not exaggerating when I say there were hundreds of people waiting. Off to my left were two old gentlemen. I’d say in their late seventies or early eighties, both white haired and clearly elderly. They were both wearing the ubiquitous old man summer outfit of short-sleeved button down shirts, with knee-length shorts and white socks with sneakers. And they were holding hands. They were clearly solicitous of each other in the crowd of people, hanging on tight, making sure the other was ok. I focused on their large, gnarled hands intertwined and it brought me to tears. Not because they were holding hands, but because they COULD hold hands. These were two men who not only felt it was safe to do so, but were completely ignored doing so as if it were the most natural thing in the world. This is not something that has been so for very long. I don’t know if it was the SCOTUS same-sex marriage decision that made them feel safe or if they had felt so before that, but I know that while I have seen some young gay and lesbian couples showing affection in public I had never seen two older men doing so. It was unsafe to do so for so very long. Men holding hands in public not so long ago would have been at the very least verbally attacked and more likely physically attacked. And I stood there in that crowd, waiting for the train, watching those old guys just be a couple and do so without harassment or disgust or whispering and pointing or any other negative reaction and I was proud of my country. Proud that it is finally realizing that love, no matter it’s form is a good thing and everyone deserves it and deserves respect and dignity no matter who they love.
I’m going to state right up front that I’m a lover of Tolkien’s books The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings and I’m a huge Peter Jackson fan. I love his adaptations of the novels. I’m not a yearly reader of Tolkien’s work like some fans, although I have read each book a few times. I’m also not married to a literal translation of the books like some fans. I have an incredibly vivid and active imagination and I love to see others imaginations come to life in the worlds they create, even if some things are different than how I thought them. So you’re not going to get a nit-picky review here. I will try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. I went to the trilogy marathon screening and it was great fun. I got to watch from the beginning of the story to the end. So some of my observations may well encompass things from the first two movies. BOTFA is definitely my favorite of the three, even after just one viewing. I suspect subsequent viewings will only strengthen that feeling.
Even though this movie is titled Battle of the Five Armies, the characters and their story arcs take center stage. The battle is the catalyst that brings these disparate folk together and weaves the threads of their stories into whole cloth. One of the things I love most about Peter Jackson is that he understands that the heart and soul of any story are the characters and if we don’t feel something for them, good or bad, the story suffers. I’ll start with the title character, Bilbo Baggins played by Martin Freeman. I had seen some of Martin’s work like The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and Sherlock, but I never did see The Office for which he is most famous. I could understand why Peter wanted him for Bilbo, but I’ve always felt a bit of a disconnect with Martin’s characters and so was a bit apprehensive as to whether or not I’d really care for Bilbo. I needn’t have worried. I believe Peter is a genius when it comes to casting and Martin as Bilbo is spot on. Watching Bilbo change from a stuffy, prickly, homebody bachelor, learning to navigate not only a company of 13 very different dwarves, but also the wide world outside the Shire, gaining confidence with every new experience and learning to trust his own instincts is a pleasure. The Bilbo in BOTFA is navigating an extremely difficult political situation and the choice he makes that he believes will help the situation is one that I never agreed with when I read the book and yet absolutely agreed with in the movie. Part of that is the way Peter set up the reason for the decision, but also in the way that Martin made Bilbo such a sympathetic character in his obvious caring for the people and the world around him, wanting to do the right thing in his pragmatic way, and all the while the One Ring is starting to exert its influence on him. Bilbo’s relationship with Thorin comes full circle and is by far my favorite of the films.
Richard Armitage plays Thorin Oakenshield and while I’m very fond of Bilbo, Thorin is my favorite character in these films. The first words I spoke after An Unexpected Journey ended were, “Who is the actor who played Thorin Oakenshield?” I had not seen any of Richard’s previous work which is interesting since I watch a lot of British shows. I remember reading a bit of controversy about his casting focusing mainly on the fact that he was so young but basically ignoring it because I wasn’t very invested in book Thorin. After these movies I can’t imagine another actor as Thorin. Something about his Thorin just speaks to me. His determination to do right by his people, his fear that he will fail them, his stubbornness and stoicism that he uses to mask his anxiety, his pride in his nephews and their shared heritage, the responsibility that he clearly feels for Bilbo despite his words to Gandalf stating otherwise while still at Bag End, his friendship with and loyalty to his cousins Dwalin and Balin, and his hope that he can restore their homeland to his people despite his own perceived shortcomings; all of that and more you see in his eyes. I’m not sure I’ve ever watched another actor able to portray such complex emotional states just in his or her eyes. And Peter seems to get that because there are a lot of close-ups of Richard in BOTFA as he descends into madness. Richard Armitage made me care deeply for a character that was always just a bit “meh” for me in the book and I cannot say enough how much his portrayal of Thorin in BOTFA moved me.
I’d like to talk a bit about the Tauriel, Legolas and Kili love triangle. I know a lot of fans were upset that a character not in the books was added to the movie. I was not one of them because 1) I agreed that these movies could use a lot more feminine energy and 2) they were in the woodland realm presumably containing hundreds if not thousands of elves so, why not? As I stated above, it is a rich universe and I’m happy to explore lots of different bits of it. Evangeline Lilly plays Tauriel and I liked her portrayal in The Desolation of Smaug and I loved it in BOTFA. Orlando Bloom is of course back from The Lord of the Rings as Legolas and Aidan Turner plays Kili. I knew Aidan from the British series Being Human where he played vampire Mitchell. So I already had a soft spot for him before the movies even came out. In fact he was the only one of the 13 dwarves that I had ever seen on screen. At first, in DoS when it became obvious that there was going to be a love triangle, I had a bit of an eye roll. Not because I don’t believe elves and dwarves could never fall in love or that it wasn’t in the book, but because it seems like a bit of a tired cliché. But the way that Peter uses those relationships to tie into The Lord of the Rings is brilliant. And that’s all I’ll say in order to avoid spoilers, other than that this part of the story line is lovely. Lee Pace as Thranduil has much more to do in BOTFA and I really like his story arc too. His insights into the love triangle show him to be a wise and compassionate elf underneath the arrogance and coldness.
Speaking of female elves, I’d just like to say that Galadriel kicks ass in BOTFA and it was an amazing sight to behold. Trust me when I tell you that you do not want to piss off the Lady of Lorién. Cate Blanchett was her usual wonderful Galadriel with a kick. She comes to Gandalf’s rescue along with Saruman and Elrond, but it is the lady Galadriel who saves the day. Hugo Weaving and Christopher Lee don’t have a lot to do in this movie, but they are welcome additions to the story. Ian McKellan is again stellar as Gandalf and even though he’s more on the sidelines rather than in the thick of things more often than not in this movie, he’s still essential to the story. I’d be hard pressed not to say that he’s my favorite character in the Middle Earth universe.
Luke Evans was fine as Bard. I didn’t feel much of a connection with Bard though in either of the movies, but less in this one than in DoS which is interesting since he’s the only human main character. I can’t put my finger on why yet and is something I’ll think about more when I re-watch the movie.
As in the first two movies, most of the other dwarves don’t have a lot of dialogue or sometimes even much screen time. That said, every single one of the company of dwarves that show up at Bilbo’s house in the shire are indelibly imprinted in my mind. The actors who portray them do a lot with a little screen time and have made their characters into fleshed out and recognizable characters that will not soon be forgotten.
The cinematography is stunning as usual with New Zealand as the backdrop and most of the CGI is pretty seamless. One quibble I had is with Azog in this movie. He didn’t look quite real in An Unexpected Journey but they fixed that in DoS. But there were parts of this movie where he looked particularly fake. It was during times he was on and/or surrounded by ice. Since he is so pale and the ice was white, I suspect that is why he just didn’t look right.
Howard Shore’s score is again one of my favorite parts of the movie. I love the music from all of Peter’s Middle Earth movies and this one was no exception. Billy Boyd sings the song over the end credits and it is, I don’t know how to describe it really, other than just lovely. It is well worth the time to sit and listen to the entire song. And Billy really does have a beautiful voice.
I have lots more thoughts in my head about this movie that I can’t quite articulate and that will probably need at least one more viewing to clarify in my mind. But the thing that sticks most in my head is that these movies are about love. Love between family, love between friends and how love is more powerful than even the most terrifying evil. And that love can come in the most unexpected places and change you in the most unexpected ways. And even when your part in the story is done, it goes ever on and on.
Virunga is a documentary written and directed by Orlando von Einsiedel about the Virunga National Park in Congo and the struggles of its Rangers to maintain and protect the wildlife there. Virunga has the only remaining habitat for Mountain Gorillas in the world, and has an orphanage for baby gorillas rescued from poachers who have killed their parents in order to sell the babies. But poachers are only one of the serious problems these dedicated rangers have to face. SOCO, a British oil company is drilling on park land in violation of Congolese law and is actively working to undermine the park. Civil war has broken out causing a terribly unstable environment and it is believed that SOCO is behind the rebel M23 group. This documentary follows a Belgian conservationist who is the warden of Virunga National Park who received death threats and survived an assassination attempt. It also follows a park ranger who was a former child soldier, and a brave young female journalist investigating SOCO who gets SOCO employees on hidden camera to admit to bribery of officials to undermine the park. They also regurgitate those old racist chestnuts that the people of Congo are not “mature” enough to govern themselves, that they are really like children and they are doing them a favor by trying to take over. This favor includes bloody battles that displace tens of thousands, maiming and injuring hundreds of civilians, most of them children. This is not an easy movie to watch. The young gorillas in the orphanage, clinging to their caretakers in fear as shelling goes on nearby, tiny children in makeshift hospitals recovering from traumatic amputations, and the funerals of park rangers killed trying to protect the park (over 130 have died to date) are heartbreaking to watch. I was in tears more than once. But also watching the press conferences by old, white, rich men from SOCO proclaiming they love the environment and follow the law to the letter and would never harm the animals or people made me nauseous. I truly wonder at the ability of people like that to live with themselves. All that said, the obvious love between the orphaned gorillas and their caretakers, the relief of the rangers when they can finally get to the mountain gorilla habitat after the fighting and find that the gorillas are ok, and the resilience of the people of Congo are wonderful to see. Documentaries like this are so important because only by bringing to light the practices of greedy multi-national corporations will enough people stand up to stop their destruction of our planet in order to maintain their greed. At the end of the documentary, there is a statement by SOCO that says in part that they follow the law, they would never harm the mountain gorillas, they had nothing to do with arming and paying the M23 rebels, the employees caught on tape were rogues and were terminated and their employees were not on site during fighting in any kind of “official” capacity. If you believe any of that, I have some swamp land on the moon I’d like to sell you. Virunga is available to watch on Netflix and I highly recommend it. You can also find out more information about the movie at virungamovie.com.
Have you ever had an issue in your life that comes at you from out of nowhere, that becomes huge in your life and it’s something you don’t understand, have never understood and nothing you have ever said or done has made a difference in resolving? That because of other people’s shit that you have no control over, those other people try and drag you down, make you and yours “bad guys”, control the narrative that most everyone else seems to believe while your protestations are looked at as lies at best or the protestations of someone with serious problems at worst? And worst of all, this all comes from family, who by the way are the only people in the world who think you are a liar with “issues”. Who has raised progeny who are also liars with “issues”. One of those progeny, who is at the center of the shitstorm started years ago, ten years to be exact, and who had to be reminded of what the “issue” was that never happened, at least not on his or my part, because it was TEN frickin’ years ago said, Mom, it’s projection. Always was, still is. Nothing you can do about it. You’ll never convince them they were mistaken, you’ll never convince them that telling them they’re mistaken is not the same as calling them liars, which they are by the way, happy to call you. It is ultimately their problem. All you can do is let it and them go. Wow. Wise words from someone twenty six years my junior. And you know what? He was and is right. I find that after the events of the past week I can finally just let it and them go. And OMG is that freeing. I think I thought I would be emotionally devastated, but the truth is, that by allowing someone else, anyone else to dictate so much drama and bullshit about me, to allow them to tell me what kind of person I am and how wrong I did things and to continually allow that by defending myself to them took so much emotional energy and so much out of me that by just realizing that I DON’T HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF OR MY CHILDREN to ANYONE, family or otherwise, a huge burden was just lifted off of my soul. That doesn’t mean that I never want to see or speak to them again, although if I don’t, so be it. It just means that I will no longer put up with that horse shit. If they choose to respect that great. If not, oh well. I have finally realized that no matter how much you reason with or try to contort your behavior or be honest with or even love someone you are powerless to make them happy or see you as you are if they are not able or willing to do so. Their problem does not have to be mine. And it feels great. I feel so much lighter by choosing not to take on their shit as mine anymore. Now if I could just remember to do that with all the idiot drivers out there who make me crazy. And crazy is the word. Especially when I haven’t eaten all day and my blood sugar gets low. (I should know better). Ask the same wise son who got a face full of my middle finger that I was shoving toward the idiot driver and an earful of my loud and colorful language. His calm response? Mom, I think today is a stay at home day for you. Which made me laugh out loud and calm right down. He’s awesome. I’ve said from day one, I’ve learned more from my two boys than I’ll ever teach them. And I’m grateful for that and them. Have you ever allowed someone else’s perspective to dominate huge chunks of your life by letting them stomp all over your boundaries in the belief that you could make it all right if you just listened and conversed and defended? If not, what are your boundary defending strategies? I’d love to know, let me know in the comments!
This is probably going to be the shortest review in the history of reviews. Mainly because I don’t want to give anything away and I’m not sure I can discuss the science with any degree of accuracy. I am just smart enough to grasp the concepts without having any clue as to how or why they work. So trying to explain it is probably pointless. I will say that within my understanding or grasp of the science involving space exploration, wormholes, black holes, and how time behaves in the presence of the immense forces of gravity around and within a black hole, the movie seemed to get it mostly right. Interstellar was directed by Christopher Nolan and stars Matthew McConaughey, Anne Hathaway, Michael Caine, John Lithgow, Ellen Burstyn, Mackenzie Foy and Casey Affleck. The acting was uniformly good. I don’t feel there was a weak link at all in the acting. The story is quite complicated so I won’t even try to talk about it because, as I said, I don’t believe I can without giving things away. Despite its complicated story, I had no trouble following or understanding what was happening. Visually Interstellar is beautiful. The depictions of a drought and famine stricken earth, space, and distant planets are fantastic, especially in their differences. I saw Interstellar in IMAX and it is well worth the higher ticket price. The seats were shaking so much during the spacecraft liftoff, that it felt almost as if the theater was leaving orbit too. This movie is dialogue heavy and moves slowly in places. It clocks in at 2 hours and 48 minutes long as well, and that along with it’s slow build-up could be disastrous, but at the end of the movie I was surprised it had been nearly three hours. I was also wrung out because Interstellar is also tense, suspenseful and emotional. There are surprises in the movie that you don’t see coming. Despite all of the science depicted in this movie, Interstellar is first and foremost a movie about Love and how it transcends time and space. And for me that is reason enough to highly recommend it to everyone. Have you seen Interstellar? If so, let me know what you thought in the comments!
Last night I saw the Broadway production Of Mice and Men starring James Franco and Chris O’Dowd. I wish I could tell you that I was in New York and watched a live production, but alas that is not the case. First of all this play finished it’s run on July 27th, this past summer. No, I watched a screening of the play thanks to National Theater Live. I watched it at my local AMC theater although I’ve seen other plays through them at the Angelika. NTL films each production in front of a live audience in the theater. Cameras are placed throughout the auditorium to make sure that the cinema goer gets an excellent view of the play. And I can attest to the fact that they do a wonderful job of making the play come alive for a cinema audience. It is a wonderful service they provide as well, bringing the best of London and Broadway to audiences who would never otherwise have the opportunity to see such productions. The ticket price was $12.50, comparable to a movie ticket price and although I’ve not yet had an opportunity to see a play on Broadway or London’s West End, I’m sure that is much less expensive than those ticket prices!
This production played at the Longacre Theater in New York and was directed by Anna D. Shapiro. If you are unfamiliar with Of Mice and Men, it was written by Nobel and Pulitzer prize winning author John Steinbeck. I have to admit that I was a bit unsure of wanting to see this particular production because I’ve always been very “meh” about James Franco. I love the story and I didn’t want to see something that would be disappointing. However I love Chris O’Dowd and although I’ve never seen him in anything other than a comedic role, I know that comedy is much harder to play and get right than anything else and if you are great at comedy you are most likely great at drama as well. This movie is set during the depression era and the dialogue, mores, and attitudes reflect that. It is very much a period piece, but one that I believe resonates with issues still around today.
James Franco plays George and Chris O’Dowd plays Lennie. They are a couple of laborers moving from job to job, making just enough money to get by, but never able to break out of their position in life. Part of the reason for that is Lennie, who is clearly mentally disabled. It is unclear what the nature of that disability is, but Lennie is basically a gentle giant, but clearly unknowing of his own strength. He loves to pet soft things and often hurts them because he doesn’t know how to control his strength. He is always remorseful, but remembering is not easy for him so he doesn’t learn. George and Lennie have known each other since childhood and look out for each other, although George does most of the looking out. But woe to anyone who tries to hurt George. James Franco was fine as George. He brought an intensity to the role that worked well and he very convincingly played both his frustration at having to deal with Lennie and the problems he caused, as well as his very obvious affection for him. I enjoy seeing an actor that I was “meh” about doing so well in a role. Chris O’Dowd was wonderful as Lennie. He absolutely portrayed a man with mental disabilities without ever coming even close to caricature. He was very funny in his manipulation of getting what he wanted from George. I’ve worked with kids with disabilities and I can tell you that while they may not be as “smart” as most of the population they can be quite gifted in using what they do have to get what they want, and Mr. O’Dowd portrayed that perfectly. His mannerisms and ticks were completely believable and his sincere sweetness, fear of those who may hurt him alongside his fearsome strength and inability to control that strength when afraid were fantastic to watch. George and Lennie have a dream that sustains them. They will save enough money to buy a small parcel of land with a small house where they can raise their own vegetables, have a few chickens and cows and live off the “fat of the land.” And there would be a rabbit hutch and Lennie would get to tend to the rabbits. That is very important to Lennie and one of the things George uses to help Lennie remember what he needs him to. Of course two men traveling together raises some eyebrows and there is more than one reference to the two of them being gay made by some of the characters at their new ranch job. There is never an obvious answer given to that assertion. George never says one way or the other. And while I’ve never gotten that kind of vibe from the book or productions I’ve seen, including this one, I know that people’s perceptions are very different and that may be a conclusion they make. Either way it makes no difference to the story or the connection between these two men.
Other standouts in the cast include Jim Norton as Candy, an old one-handed ranch hand who fears being put out into the cold when he’s no longer able to “swamp out” the bunk house. When Lennie forgets and speaks about he and George’s dream of their own place in front of Candy, Candy offers the $250 he was given as compensation for the loss of his hand in a ranch accident to help buy a place if they will let him join them. Jim Norton was excellent in this role. His helplessness, anguish and uncertainty in the face of being old and soon no longer useful, with no one to take care of him was heartbreaking. And his joy at maybe having a place to retire was infectious. Leighton Meester played Curly’s wife. Curly is a ranch hand with a bad attitude and is constantly accusing the other hands of giving his wife the “eye”. I find it interesting that Curly’s wife is not even given a name in the play when the black man, who is not allowed to sleep in the bunkhouse with the other men or eat with them because he is black has a name. He is called Crooks because of his crooked back. The racism in this play is strong, casual and normal for the time. Yet a woman character who is absolutely pivotal to the story is not even allowed a name while a man of color, who is treated like less than a person is given one. Gives one pause. I’ve heard of Leighton Meester, but never actually seen anything she was in. She did a nice job playing Curly’s wife. That character is often accused of being bad and directly responsible for the tragedy that occurs, but I see her as a young woman in a bad marriage to a nasty man, trapped in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no one to talk to. She is desperately looking for a connection with somebody. Anybody. She is called a tart because she is always wandering into the ranch hand’s bunkhouse or into the barn, places where a woman shouldn’t be. She defends herself saying she just wants to talk to somebody and she is demonized for wanting to make a connection with other people. The problem of women taking the blame for the actions of men still persists with rape culture as a perfect example of that. It is too often viewed as the woman’s fault if she is raped rather than the blame being placed squarely where it belongs, on the rapist. And women are too often told they should modify themselves and their behavior to avoid rape rather than yet again placing the blame on rapists. Ms. Meester did a great job playing a young girl who needed connection with someone, but not understanding how to go about getting it in a world extremely limited for women and one that so often crushed their dreams. Her encounter with a scared and shaken Lennie was very powerful, both of them excited to be interacting, neither of them understanding each other at all or the consequences of that.
The rest of the cast was very good as well and supported the main players and the story with believable characters. The devastating and emotional ending to the play had me in tears and affected not only the audience, because most of the cast had tears in their eyes even during the curtain call. In fact I’ve had tears in my eyes writing about much of this. One cool thing was Candy’s old dog came back on stage after everyone but Jim Norton had left and got a huge applause. As of now National Theater Live is only showing last night’s showing of this play on their website but I know they usually do encore showings of the plays they broadcast. I would highly recommend this to anyone who enjoys good theater, good movies, excellent storytelling and acting. You can find National Theater Live here where you can get email updates of upcoming shows or follow them on Twitter here or Facebook here to get updates. Have you seen a broadcast from National Theater Live? Would you be willing to watch a play through this venue? Let me know in the comments!
Samsara is a non-verbal documentary by filmmakers Ron Fricke and Mark Magidson that was shot on 70mm and later output to digital. It was released in 2011. The movie was filmed in 25 countries and took five years to complete. Samsara literally means ‘wandering on’ or basically birth, death and rebirth. I expect that what this film leaves you with depends, at least in part, on your knowledge and/or feelings about the religions or belief systems that espouse reincarnation. I’m frankly at a bit of a loss as to how to describe this film. There are no words spoken in the entire film and my reactions to it were not really thought but rather felt. This movie is extremely beautiful, mesmerizing, thought provoking, disturbing, cringe-inducing, can’t take my eyes off of it art. There were moments that left me breathless at its beauty and moments that disturbed me profoundly. There were a couple of moments that freaked me out a bit and a couple that left me shaking my head at their randomness. I have a feeling that depending on a person’s perceptions and points of view and beliefs, what they find most beautiful and what they find most disturbing will differ. My most lasting impressions are of vivid color, frank amazement at the beauty of this planet, horror at some of the things and ideals so many hold dear as well as the costs of those things, and the love and beauty that can be found in even the most difficult places. It’s that dichotomy of “oh my god, we’re doomed” and “love always finds a way, maybe we’ll be ok” set against the impermanence of life and the things we cherish, that make this film so fascinating. The amazing diversity of the people and cultures on our planet are wondrous to behold and the filmmakers give us a vivid peek at many of them. Samsara is available on Netflix, which is where I watched it. I highly recommend this movie, no matter your tastes or beliefs, as I believe everyone would find something to enjoy about it.
A day that brought change
in ways unimaginable
to me, to my life
to my soul
A day that brought fear
As I looked in your eyes
The very first time
How do I do this?
How is it possible
to be responsible
for another human life?
I know nothing!
I’m a mess
What if I mess you up?
What if you hate me because of it?
A day that brought understanding
of what Love truly is
and is not
It has nothing to do with
and everything to do with
a state of being
Of giving all of myself, but
A day of understanding
My state of being and of giving is
Not nearly enough
Not nearly enough time
Not nearly enough wisdom
Not nearly enough hope
Not nearly enough understanding
Not nearly enough humor
Not nearly enough strength
Not nearly enough compassion
Not nearly enough kindness
But, coming also to understand
That even though I alone am not
Together we have
All that is needed
to make everything
More than enough
The day you taught me
To step outside my self-centered bubble
And see the oneness of life
The day you taught me
How to be more fully everything
Not just for myself
But for everyone I love
Thank you for choosing me
to be your mother